Just because

So, the weekend. Two days just hanging around doing nothing but pleasurable things, thinking of nothing but just the present moment.

After a year here, I’ve got almost the same level of comfort I had before. A flat where to stay, some furniture, a computer I like. Some appliances. I’m not really too attentive to material things, I mean, I’m well aware that we need them so everything flows more easily but somehow also know they don’t make me happy in a more specific sense.

Sure I could go on pursuing the american dream. A larger house, more expensive appliances, the finest furniture, an -even- upscaler neighborhood.

I didn’t came for that.

That said, I still feel something is amiss. Something was amiss. Perhaps, something will always be amiss.

I have successfully created a routine. A routine based in the regularity of my current job. A weekly check graces my account once a week making the little numbers printed on my monthly statement go up a little every time and occasionally require an extra sheet of paper to explain, expand, offer and promote things that, usually, are of no interest to me.

Little by little a certain awareness comes to my senses. I may go somewhere else, I shouldn’t stay here forever. Idealistic? A few hours ago an Indian friend was telling me to face reality, that I should stay, that changes take time and are expensive. I just said I agreed with him. But also told him that you only live once.

Seems that my words thwarted him somehow as he left the chat with no further arguments.

Reality. Unreality.

Gotta deal with both. And let others deal with theirs.


One thought on “Just because

  1. Ciertamente lo material no compra la felicidad y mas bien mientras menos tengamos en exceso mas facil nos resulta desprendernos de las cosas, creo que el equilibrio se encuentra en tener la posibilidad de tener algo que uno realmente quiere y necesita o disfruta.

    Claro, uno puedo querer un Ferrari, pero eso depende de las posibilidades reales de cada uno y hay que ser objetivo para valorarla, lo otro conduce a la miseria espiritual.

    En relación con el tema de irse, creo que cada uno escoge el camino de su vida, ya te lo he dicho, yo nunca tuve el valor de irme, de hecho me gusta acá; pero hay personas como tu que tienen otras cosas que les permite ser de verdad peregrinos, que entienden el mundo de otra manera y que son felices con eso.

    A veces lo envidio, pero la mayor parte del tiempo estoy tranquilo con quien soy.

    Nos leemos.

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