So, the weekend. Two days just hanging around doing nothing but pleasurable things, thinking of nothing but just the present moment.
After a year here, I’ve got almost the same level of comfort I had before. A flat where to stay, some furniture, a computer I like. Some appliances. I’m not really too attentive to material things, I mean, I’m well aware that we need them so everything flows more easily but somehow also know they don’t make me happy in a more specific sense.
Sure I could go on pursuing the american dream. A larger house, more expensive appliances, the finest furniture, an -even- upscaler neighborhood.
I didn’t came for that.
That said, I still feel something is amiss. Something was amiss. Perhaps, something will always be amiss.
I have successfully created a routine. A routine based in the regularity of my current job. A weekly check graces my account once a week making the little numbers printed on my monthly statement go up a little every time and occasionally require an extra sheet of paper to explain, expand, offer and promote things that, usually, are of no interest to me.
Little by little a certain awareness comes to my senses. I may go somewhere else, I shouldn’t stay here forever. Idealistic? A few hours ago an Indian friend was telling me to face reality, that I should stay, that changes take time and are expensive. I just said I agreed with him. But also told him that you only live once.
Seems that my words thwarted him somehow as he left the chat with no further arguments.
Gotta deal with both. And let others deal with theirs.