Life is mostly like a balancing act: while many things can go wrong, it is great when the whole set goes right.
I’ve been little motivated to write and particularly a little busy in the last couple of weeks. Working full time and also taking classes in the evenings takes most of my time. It’s not a bad life at all, but I have less time for personal interests. Many of my friends cannot understand what I do a whole day -less a whole month or more- without work as the main activity that takes the larger part of my day. Whatever. Of course my job could pay a little -or a lot- more I find interesting to do what I do: controlling a tiny part of the world from my keyboard. The Internet allows me to be everywhere I’m needed, and I do like this core networking stuff that before my current position was used by me in only domestic matters like my home wireless network or the latest firmware I hacked into my router.
That’s right, I’m having some fun doing this. At least for now.
Yet, I’m not happy.
I experience a kind of dissatisfaction of things. A certain disenchantment I can’t quite explain. I’m aware of certain things, like no longing wanting to stay in the flat I’m now or not being happy with my current circle of acquaintances, and while all that may be related, somehow I’m not really sure if they suffice to explain my current status of my inner world.
Related to this is that I seem to have a preconception, an idea, of how things in my life should be. And while I’m flexible as things come and go by sometimes I long for reaching the state of affairs as I picture things to be. Of course, being aware of this doesn’t always carry the answer of how I will reach that state. Awareness is not enough. In that sense, ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Perhaps is time to add some changes to the mix.
And then shake and enjoy.