Meee

Life is mostly like a balancing act: while many things can go wrong, it is great when the whole set goes right.

I’ve been little motivated to write and particularly a little busy in the last couple of weeks. Working full time and also taking classes in the evenings takes most of my time. It’s not a bad life at all, but I have less time for personal interests. Many of my friends cannot understand what I do a whole day -less a whole month or more- without work as the main activity that takes the larger part of my day. Whatever. Of course my job could pay a little -or a lot- more I find interesting to do what I do: controlling a tiny part of the world from my keyboard. The Internet allows me to be everywhere I’m needed, and I do like this core networking stuff that before my current position was used by me in only domestic matters like my home wireless network or the latest firmware I hacked into my router.

That’s right, I’m having some fun doing this. At least for now.

Yet, I’m not happy.

I experience a kind of dissatisfaction of things. A certain disenchantment I can’t quite explain. I’m aware of certain things, like no longing wanting to stay in the flat I’m now or not being happy with my current circle of acquaintances, and while all that may be related, somehow I’m not really sure if they suffice to explain my current status of my inner world.

Related to this is that I seem to have a preconception, an idea, of how things in my life should be. And while I’m flexible as things come and go by sometimes I long for reaching the state of affairs as I picture things to be. Of course, being aware of this doesn’t always carry the answer of how I will reach that state. Awareness is not enough. In that sense, ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Perhaps is time to add some changes to the mix.

And then shake and enjoy.

Serve cold.

Advertisements

Two

S came last night.

After the first time we met we just talked about chilling while watching a movie, cuddling a bit and maybe sleeping overnight. So we did.

But afterwards we got into heavy petting. I guess i just let myself go. No regrets. For a moment i almost laughed a bit when listening her expelling some unfathomable quebecois interjections as she enjoyed what we were doing. Way to learn some french !

We woke up at around 9 AM and went again at it for a while. At around midday it was time to go grabbing something for lunch. I was lazy, i would’ve stayed but anyway, off we went to a buffet in Chinatown, after we found one of her missing socks that was hanging off a roof fixture. Don’t ask.

Cold air thru my spiky hair, little smile on my face. No falling snow but 0° C and some wind. Couldn’t care less as I only took a polar jacket and a t-shirt. Fuck the weather, Fuck the weather !

After a copious meal, got sleepy and came back to my Bude. Life is not perfect, but sometimes it throws some perfect moments to you.

But now I know I’m not into her.

So you’ll undertand the lyrics of this video.

This is a perfect night for going into a goth club. Dark. Unreal. Flooded with rough sounds and deep bass all around. I just gotta find where.

F just called. Too tired to do anything. We’ll talk later. Maybe I’ll go see her.